Senior Relationships And Dating And You
A 64 year old, former nurse named Dorothy lost her husband to cancer relates, “I was always worried about how people would react to my dating again, what they’d think. My husband and I were married more than forty years, and I just knew it would raise eyebrows amongst my family if I started going out again. I ended up meeting a nice man, whom I dated in secret for nine months. The funny thing is that I had no need to be nervous. My family was actually glad to hear I was happy.”
Like many seniors, Dorothy was concerned with how others would think of her dating “at her age”. The sad thing is that these false concerns about the reactions of family and friends can slow down, or stop seniors from dating. To be fair, there will be cases when family and friends react negatively to people sixty and over dating. But this usually isn’t anything personal. However, in most cases, once family and friends find out, they will actually encourage you to date more. After all, they do want to see you happy.
Another chief concern is in cases where the dating senior lost their spouse. In these cases it’s best to give it as much time as you need, and then understand that dating takes nothing away from the love you had, and still have, for your departed spouse. There is no question that they would want you to be happy as well.
“After my wife passed away, I really thought that was all for me,” says retired golf pro John. “I loved her so much, and thought I would be dishonoring her memory if I started dating. I figured I would just quit thinking of trying to find another woman I would be willing to share my life. But, then, it happened. I met the ideal woman and I was back in a loving relationship again.”
The idea of not limiting yourself, as mentioned earlier, is what John’s story illustrates. It really is possible to fall in love again, but only if you are open to the idea. Losing a spouse is heartbreaking, but meeting somebody new doesn’t negate anything special you once had. Age isn’t a determining factor when it comes to basic human needs, and being in a loving relationship is one of those needs.
Dorothy and John were both hesitant about dating at over sixty years of age. Those feelings are common, but by overcoming them, they started dating again and were able to find happiness again.