How To Deal With Jealousy – And Not Kill Yourself
Some people are just jealous, and will admit it freely. This may be a part of their personality, and it can be hard to break if that is the case. Others are jealous by nature, but don’t actually come out and tell you. Instead, they seem to get angry, sad, or depressed about seemingly unimportant matters, when, in reality, they are stewing with jealousy and refuse to admit it. And perhaps the most common form of jealousy is that which is not part of the person’s personality, but arises instead from a set of circumstances.
Jealousy is often the result of distrust and/or paranoia. The distrust may come from a past relationship, that had nothing to do with your current one, or it might be heightened because someone was cheated on, or lied to in the current relationship. Or, it might just be because the jealous person is, possibly for the first time, very in love and very afraid of losing his or her partner. In any case of how to deal with jealousy, it’s important to understand where the feelings are originating so that someone doesn’t get blamed unjustly, or become burdened with all sorts of demands, and so that lies don’t become what are believed to be truths.
What usually happens when a person gives into jealousy, is that he or she either begins to put more and more limitations upon what his or her partner can do, or demand an absurd amount of information about what he/she is doing, which is both offensive and abusive in a way. It is a means of controlling that person. If you are a jealous person, remember that if you love the person you are with, you cannot try to possess him or her. This type of controlling attitude will only make your partner want to push away from you.
Every person needs time with friends, time alone, and time with their partner, and each individual differs with respect to the quantity of each. If you are a person who wants to spend 100% of your time with your partner, do not be offended, or read something into the fact if your partner needs some time alone or with friends. What you can do is also start to spend time on your own or with friends. It may be forced at first, but it is healthy for a person to have some time out of a relationship, and you will soon feel the benefits of this healthy distance.
If you have been wondering yourself how to deal with jealousy, or are wondering about how to help your partner overcome this relationship threatening feeling, you can also consider counseling or some type of therapy.